As most of my friends know, I recently lost my little brother/cousin to cancer. The whole entire experience has been humbling and life changing. I will never be the same person after losing my little brother. But one thing I can say with complete assurance is that my Lord makes beauty out of ashes. I have been wanting to honor my baby boy for some time now and share his heart with you all. It has taken me some time to process, heal and be able to even comprehend what has happened. I didn’t even know where to begin, my mind was all over the place. You see, my baby boy was only 27 when he went home. I say my baby boy because that’s exactly who he was. I loved Bobby with a love so deep, I can only describe it by comparing it to a mother’s love. I wasn’t ready to let him go. I wasn’t ready to let all the dreams I had for him be interrupted and changed. Our moms are sisters, we grew up together. I had the privilege of seeing Bobby walk this earth since he was born. I remember my tia’s beautiful belly when my baby boy was in her womb. I remember holding him when I was 8 years old. I wasn’t allowed to carry him because I was too little. But I remember sitting on the floor with him and wanting to pick him up so badly and him being too heavy for me to stand up. Still, I tried so hard to at least put him on my lap and kiss him. He had the most beautiful, white, chubby cheeks and the sweetest smile. When Bobby got to be a teenager, I was already married and had my oldest son, he came to live with me for a short while. Bobby had grown into a funny, handsome, witty and super intelligent young man. I was shocked by the mature conversations we had. He wasn’t the little boy I remembered. In the few short years we were apart, he had grown so much. Not just in maturity but also in stature. He was now 6’3′ while I was still a respectable 5’1″ :) And even though he looked like a man on the outside, I was so glad he was still the sweet boy I remembered. Looking back now, I am so grateful to God for the opportunity to be that close to him. Through the years, Bobby struggled to find his identity in God, like we all do. But a warrior emerged, he was a David. So young yet brave. His heart was passionate for Jesus. He loved people. I have never met another person that loved people more or better. He was selfless, always! He would always want everyone around him to feel welcomed and loved. He wanted people to feel like they belonged, like they were family. Bobby changed me in so many ways for the better. His love was selfless, and nothing could ever get in the way of him loving that way. He got it, he really got it. As I learn to live without his physical body here on earth, I often find myself thinking over and over about our conversations. I usually smile or laugh out loud by myself while someone stares confusedly at me. Ha! He was ridiculously funny! He always wanted to make me laugh. He would do anything for you to not feel uncomfortable, even if it made him uncomfortable. He would rather take any discomfort because he knew how to deal with pain. You see, if you were uncomfortable or in pain, it hurt him too much and he didn’t know what to do. He would rather take it for you. Does that sound like someone? ;) Jesus was so evident in him. He was such a loyal person. Bobby wouldn’t even think for a split second if he had to sacrifice himself for you. It was his nature. Bobby would not back down from a challenge. If you met him while he was going through his struggle, he would’ve transformed your life, as he did so many. He would always say that he was going to be on the front lines until the good Lord decided. He was a warrior. I have never met anyone, in the flesh, that was more selfless. What I love about Bobby’s legacy is that even though he was covered in tattoos and looked a little intimidating, okay maybe a lot. :) He shattered any stereotype anyone had. His eyes were filled with compassion and love. His smile was always available. His heart was completely open for anyone that needed it. Gosh, I loved that about him. I miss you so much papa! He was quick to shake your hand or hug you if you allowed it. Even when his body was in so much pain, he was so eager to tell you about his Savior Jesus Christ. About His mercy and grace. He wanted you to know how great and powerful his God was and how He transformed his life and gave him new purpose. He was amazingly positive, optimistic and full of joy. Watching Bobby navigate such a difficult time with such grace changed my life. I can’t imagine ever complaining about the trivial things we go through on a daily basis. I remember one of the last conversations he and I had. It was the last time he was home before his health deteriorated quickly. We talked for over an hour. I was trying to encourage him and give him strength, but the truth is everything about him was giving me strength. We talked about the fears we deal with that keep us from achieving what God has already given us. Fears that we allow to control our destiny. He told me that if he had a chance, he would live without limits. Knowing that time was limited and precious… a gift. He made me realize that we live always planning for tomorrow as if tomorrow was promised. Why don’t we do those things that have been in our heart for so long? Why don’t we take more chances? Who cares if we fail, at least we tried! There is so much beauty I want you to know about Bobby. But if there is one thing he would want you to know, it’s that God is worth it ALL. Whatever you think the cost is for following Jesus, it’s worth it. Love God, love others and serve God’s people. He constantly told me that the only way to advance God’s kingdom was to serve others in love.
“Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. 2Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” Romans 12:1
His music is on SoundCloud, username Powehouse9108 if you would like to listen to his talented and passionate words.
IN LOVING MEMORY OF BOBBY ORELLANA
To my baby boy:
I love you so much papa and miss you terribly. You made me a better person and I am honored to have been your sister here on earth. I know some day soon we will be reunited, I cannot wait for that day. But until then, I will honor your life and live out your legacy. I promise to continue your legacy and love people the way you taught me. I will strive to live without limits and not let my fears hold me back from the dreams my Lord has placed in my heart. You inspire me and motivate me to be the woman God called me to be. You were a soldier for God and touched so many lives, you were an angel here on earth and now you are resting and made whole in our Jesus’ presence. Every time I think about you in heaven I get so emotional. I am so happy for you baby! You made it home and I know Jesus was waiting for you with open arms, so proud of you. I promise to make you proud baby. I love you with everything in me. You are my heart and I take you everywhere I go. In the meantime, until I see you again, I’ll be a soldier for Christ just like you were. Love you mi chiquitio bello.
“Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope. 14For we believe that Jesus died and rose again, and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him. 15According to the Lord’s word, we tell you that we who are still alive, who are left until the coming of the Lord, will certainly not precede those who have fallen asleep. 16For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. 17After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever. 18Therefore encourage one another with these words.” 1 Thess 4:13-18
Bobby’s favorite bible verse PSALM 18:1-6